Donald Trump

President of the U.S.

Newspaper Pack

• “I have the absolute right to pardon myself.” -Donald Trump 

• “He is a racist. He is a conman. He is a cheat.” -Michael Cohen

• “Nutjob.”; “Loser.”; “Race-baiting, xenophobic, religious bigot.”; “I think he’s a kook. I think he’s crazy. I think he’s unfit for office.”; “He’s the ISIL man of the year.” -Lindsey Graham

• “Trump has made more than 20,000 false or misleading claims… in 1,267 days [as president].” -WaPo 

• “Mr. Trump is a racist. The country has seen Mr. Trump court white supremacists and bigots. You have heard him call poorer countries ‘shitholes.’ In private, he is even worse.” -Michael Cohen 

• “He told me that black people would never vote for him because they were too stupid.” -Michael Cohen 

• “Very fine people on both sides” -Trump, on white supremacist and neo-Nazi rally in Charlottesville, Virginia

• “Trump’s father was arrested at Ku Klux Klan riot in New York.” -The Independent

• “Employees were directed to tell African American lease applicants that there were no open apartments… [Donald Trump] said to me at one point during a coffee break, ‘You know, you don’t want to live with them either.’” -The Atlantic 

• “When you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab ‘em by the pussy. You can do anything.” -Donald Trump 

• “Times investigation found that he had received at least $413 million in 2018 dollars from his father.” -NYT 

• “Much of the money Mr. Trump had received from his father came from his participation in dubious tax schemes, including instances of outright fraud.” -NYT

• “By the early 1990s he had burned through his portion of his father Fred’s fortune with a series of reckless business decisions. Two of his businesses had declared bankruptcy, the Trump Taj Mahal Casino in Atlantic City and the Plaza Hotel in New York, and the money pit that was the Trump Shuttle went out of business in 1992. Trump companies would ultimately declare Chapter 11 bankruptcy two more times.” -Foreign Policy 

• “Trump actually has six bankruptcies.” -NBC News 

• “[Trump’s] 10-year total: $1.17 billion in losses.” -NYT 

• “He could not get anybody in the United States to lend him anything. It was all coming out of Russia.” -Alan Lapidus, longtime architect for Trump 

• “Mueller refutes Trump’s ‘no collusion, no obstruction’ line.” -Politico

• “President Trump unconstitutionally receives the benefits of foreign deals and refuses to release his tax returns that would reveal sources of income.” -WaPo 

• “Donald Trump becomes 3rd president in US history to be impeached.” -ABC News

• “U.S. is looking so dumb.” -Donald Trump 

• “I like people that weren’t captured.” -Donald Trump, on former POW John McCain 

• “Bone spur diagnosis that helped Trump avoid Vietnam draft was ‘favor…’ Trump received five deferments from the draft for military service during the Vietnam War. He received four education deferments while he was a college student and a fifth deferment in 1968 for a medical exemption after he graduated.” -USA Today

• “I don’t take responsibility at all.” -Trump, on COVID-19 failures

• “In the middle of a pandemic, Trump just asked the Supreme Court to take away health insurance from 20 million Americans and eliminate protections for people with pre-existing conditions, like Covid.” -Jon Favreau

Late Nite Pack

• “Trump misspelled his wife's name in a tweet welcoming her home from the hospital.” -Business Insider

• “Trump claims his mid-protest bunker visit was for 'inspection' purposes as 'bunker b*tch' memes circulate.” -Complex

• “I’ve known Jeff for fifteen years. Terrific guy. He’s a lot of fun to be with. It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side.” -Trump, on alleged sex trafficker and convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein

• “He tells a story [for at least the sixth time as president] about how he was once named Michigan's ‘Man of the Year,’ though there is no evidence this ever happened.” -CNN

• “A Time magazine with Trump on the cover hangs in his golf clubs. It’s fake.” -WaPo

• “Trump stares into solar eclipse without safety glasses, while aides shout 'don't look!'“ -The Independent

• “Nambia: Trump praises nonexistent African country.” -CNN

• “The buck stops with everybody.” -Trump

• “Asked what his biggest accomplishments have been, Trump cites legislation that was signed into law by President Obama in 2014.” –Aaron Rupar

• “COVID, COVID-19, COVID, I said ‘what’s the 19?’ COVID-19, some people can’t explain what the 19. Gimme the, COVID-19, I said ‘that’s an odd name.’” -Trump

• “One WWE episode, they had a plot where Vince McMahon’s limo exploded and Donald Trump, in real life, immediately called him to make sure he was still alive.” -The Lincoln Project

• “I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart… It may have been the least impressive sex I’d ever had.” -Stormy Daniels

• “Rome burning in man form.” -John Oliver

• “Malignantly crazy.” -Former West Wing Official

• “Hamberders.” -Trump

• “Trump cheated on his SAT by paying someone to take it for him, according to Mary Trump's new book.” -Business Insider