Ted Cruz

Newspaper Pack

• “Ted is the ultimate hypocrite.” -Trump

• “People do not like Ted.” -Trump

• “Will do anything to stay at the trough!” -Trump

• “Cruz is a cheater! He holds the Bible high and then lies.” -Trump

• “Why would the people of Texas support Ted Cruz when he has accomplished absolutely nothing for them. He is another all talk, no action pol!” -Trump

• “Weak and desperate.” -Trump

• “Quarantined Ted Cruz defends Trump on pandemic.” -Dallas News

• “Cruz defends Trump’s record on Russia.” NBC News

• “Cruz defends Trump policy of family separation.” -The Hill

• “Republicans are quiet as Trump urges minority congresswomen to leave the country.” -WaPo

• “TV crew laugh at Ted Cruz in live interview after he endorses Trump’s baseless conspiracy theory.” -The Independent

• Cruz “tells a sweet story about the sacrifice he and his wife made four years ago to finance his upstart campaign for the U.S. Senate. The story, as it turns out, is phony… [It] was debunked by the New York Times, which revealed that he took out as much as $1 million in loans, with much of the money loaned to the campaign. The loans from Goldman Sachs (where his wife works ) and Citibank were never disclosed, as required by law, to federal election officials… At the very time he was presenting himself to voters as an anti-establishment candidate free of Wall Street influence, he was getting a big loan from a Wall Street firm.” -WaPo

Late Nite Pack

• “Cruz elbowed his wife in the head 3 times after announcing he's dropping out of the race.” -The Week

• “Cruz called a basketball hoop a ‘basketball ring’ while recreating a scene from ‘Hoosiers.’” -USA Today

• “This guy Ted Cruz is the single biggest liar I have ever dealt with in my life... He will lie about anything. I’ve met much tougher people than Ted Cruz. He’s like a baby... He’s like a little baby. Soft, weak, little baby.” -Trump

• “If you killed Ted Cruz on the floor of the Senate, and the trial was in the Senate, nobody would convict you.” -Lindsey Graham

• “I get along with almost everyone, but I have never worked with a more miserable son of a bitch in my life.” -John Boehner  

• “Trump accuses Cruz’s father of helping JFK’s assassin.” -Politico

• “Ad mocks Cruz for making up with Trump: ‘If somebody called my wife a dog, I wouldn’t ‘be kissing their ass.’“ -The Hill

• “Cruz mocked for his fawning Time Magazine tribute to Donald Trump. ‘One of the most humiliating things ever written.’“ -HuffPo

• “People are really hard on Ted and his looks, and they call him the Zodiac Killer. I mean, that’s unfair, since his plan to repeal Obamacare would kill way more people than the Zodiac Killer. I mean way, way, way, way, way, way, way more people.” Triumph the Insult Comic Dog 

• “Cruz says favorited porn tweet was ‘inadvertent’ and a ‘mistake.’“ -USA Today

• “Cruz thinks people don’t have a right to ‘stimulate their genitals.’ I was his college roommate. This would be a new belief of his.” -Craig Mazin